Sophia's Baptism Eve

It's the eve of Sophia's baptism.  Well it was.  Now it's past midnight, so technically it is her baptism day.  And even though things have been beyond busy, I had to take a moment to write the thoughts of my heart.  I admit there's a tummy-churning mix of excitement, anticipation, nerves and hope.  I know I am a far cry from a perfect mother.  I get overwhelmed easily.  I expect too much from myself and my kids.  I would rather do pretty much anything over dishes or laundry.  But it helps so much to know that I have never been on this parenting ride alone.  And not because I am married, although that helps, but because Sophia is God's daughter first and I am just His helper.  He tells me what to do for her, and I've tried my best to do it.

You can't cram getting ready for baptism and that covenant with the Lord, but you don't have to if you are doing the simple every day and weekly things He's asked us to do.  Saying prayers.  Going to church on Sunday.  Reading our scriptures together, even if it's just one.  And even though it's been hard, we have tried hard to do these things.

 This week we had a special Family Home Evening night learning about baptism and receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost.  Of course Chad practiced dunking all the kids and a rush of memories poured into my mind as I remembered doing the same thing with my Daddy in our old living room.  I said the same things to my kids as he did to me.  "Remember to bend your knees and don't let your feet lift off the ground.  We baptize by immersion."

 Even Sammy wanted to try.

 Then Sophia did.  My precious little Sophia.  She has come so far.  She is a very free spirit.  She is smart and intelligent.  She has a beautiful heart.  There are some things we still don't know about her as far as possible Aspergers and some ticks, and the ADHD and Oppositional-Defiance is hard to handle at times.  But she is a gem.  She is a jewel.  She is more precious than rubies.

 Watching her get "dunked" by her Daddy I could see myself in her and my Dad in Chad, and also the newness of this next link of family covenants.  Another generation of baptism, preparing her for the temple and those same covenants that make our families eternal.

 I am so thankful that between the meltdowns and depression, fear and doubt, I have kept going with trying to teach my children the Gospel.  To learn about the Holy Ghost, my dearest fried, I put the following items in a sack and let the kids take turns pulling items out, each representing something the Holy Ghost does for us...

 1. A blanket because the Holy Ghost can give us warm, tender feelings.

2. A phone because the Holy Ghost speaks to our mind and hearts.

3. A stuffed animal because the Holy Ghost comforts us.

4. A picture of friends because the Holy Ghost can be our constant companion and greatest friend.

5. A light bulb because the Holy Ghost can give us ideas and bring things to our minds.

6. A red flashlight because the Holy Ghost can give us feelings to help us STOP doing something that can hurt us or is bad for us.

7. A compass because the Holy Ghost helps us stay on the right path and choose the right way.

8. A schoolbook because the Holy Ghost helps us learn.

I chose 8 items to remind them that at that age you can receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.  We read some scriptures relating to the items too, easily found in the topical guide.  But that can be a lot for the little ones so we didn't do a scripture for each item in the bag, just the scriptures I felt they would get the most from.  

It is so rewarding to learn as a family.  Was it hard to get everyone into the living room for FHE?  Yes!  Did the kids want to play in the backyard instead?  Yes!!  Did I think very seriously about throwing in the towel and just canceling?  Oh, YES!!! But did we end up growing spiritually and having a good time as a family? YES!!!!!!!

I promise you that as you make time each day to read a scripture, say family prayers and have weekly family home evening you WILL know peace.  You will have comfort at these crucial times when your kids have reached milestones, knowing you have done all you can.  And though I may lose a little sleep over my anticipation for tomorrow, it's not because we haven't prepared her.  We have.  And that is a priceless gift to  both her and to my own sense of peace.  The Gospel is true!!! Love, Eva 

Softened Hearts, Leaves & Cookies:One Last Lesson on Attitude

One more lesson on Attitude that actually transitions quite nicely into this month's new theme, Gratitude.  A great visual for kids is the idea of the "softening of the heart."  Elder Eyring's talk "Write upon My Heart" has some great quotes on this subject of having a heart that is impressionable, moldable (I know that's not a word, but you know what I mean...) and softened.  Here's one of my favorites...

Our goal when we teach our children to pray is for them to want God to write upon their hearts and be willing then to go and do what God asks of them. It is possible for our children to have faith enough, from what they see us do and what we teach, that they can feel at least part of what the Savior felt as He prayed to have the strength to make His infinite sacrifice for us: “And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt” (Matt. 26:39).

I have had prayers answered. Those answers were most clear when what I wanted was silenced by an overpowering need to know what God wanted. It is then that the answer from a loving Heavenly Father can be spoken to the mind by the still, small voice and can be written on the heart.

Wow!  Isn't that what we all want for our children?  That their attitudes might be changed, ready and willing to have the Spirit write upon their hearts?  I used 3 objects to teach the importance of having a softened heart...

1) Playdough!  (If you don't have any on hand there are lots of quick recipes online using ingredients you probably have in your kitchen.)

It's easy for kids to understand that when the playdough is fresh and soft we can shape anything out of it. God can shape us into what he wants us to be when our hearts are softened too.  That is when we are impressionable and he can "write on our hearts."  You could even use a butter knife or other carving tool to have them "write" on the playdough.  When our hearts are hardened though and we don't want to change our attitudes or choices, we are stuck the way we are and God can't mold us and help us anymore.  You can have some hardened playdough out to show this too.


2) Leaves!  (Thank you Autumn for providing this item!)

We did a simple craft of making leaf art by gluing leaves to paper.  I asked them which leaves were brightest and easiest to work with.  Of course, the ones that weren't all dry, hard and crusty.  The ones that were still soft and fresh.  I explained that the difference between the dry ones and soft ones was the amount of water still in them.

 Appropriately, Jesus Christ is the Living Water for us.  If we want to have softened hearts, we must turn to him and bring him into our lives.  The same is true for playdough that is starting to dry out.  Often you can add some water to soften it and bring it to life again.  This was a great connection to make with my kids!

3) Cookies!

The best way to compare the benefits of a softened condition is by using food.  Nobody wants to bite into a hard cookie!  My kids found out the hard way (no pun intended) since my "softened" cookies were apparently a little on the hard side. LOL  Hard cookies don't taste good and a hardened heart doesn't feel good.

Feeling happy feels good, and we feel most happy when our lives are in line with Heavenly Father's plan for us.  Truly, choosing to have the attitude of "Thy Will Be Done" is the most simple, yet most important choice we can make.  Our softened cookies have happy faces because they are following God's plan!

I have to add a tender moment we had.  I've been working 4 part-time jobs to try to help get us out of debt and try to figure out which job works best for our family, so I was hurrying to wrap up this lesson and get to work.  But Michael REALLY kept trying to say something.  Finally, it was his turn and he pointed out two jack-o-lanterns in our Halloween decorations.  He showed how one was having a happy attitude and the other one was sad because it wasn't.  He explained how we should be like the happy jack-o-lantern.  How precious and sweet to see that after a month of discussing this topic he is getting it!  He IS understanding how important a positive attitude is!  As I rushed out the door to work it was comforting to know that the little 10 minute lessons we have here and there DO add up to a greater understanding and positive character in our children.  And WE grow as teachers and parents and disciples in the process too!  So excited for another month of activities and learning in November as we discuss, of course, Gratitude!

Love,
Eva

Family Time Is Sacred Time: From "I Love You" to "I'd Love To..."

I wish I could say that we sat as a family and watched every session of conference together, pens and crayons in hand, taking notes, setting goals and growing stronger as a family!  But I can't. :) I know some families do it and I have so much respect and admiration for them, but the Barnett family isn't quite there yet.  What a comfort it is to know that many of the homes our apostles were raised in were kind of like mine, or even less spiritual... 

I learned during this conference that Elder Packer and President Eyring both had less active fathers; President Eyring's father wasn't even baptized.  Yet, these men are still incredible spiritual giants fulfilling the Lord's purposes for them on earth.  I feel very lucky that I do have the spiritual support of my husband and pray for the women doing it on their own.  Stick with it!  The Lord is mindful of you and loves you!  

I'm so grateful that in the Saturday morning session first we heard from President Monson and then the next two talks were really geared towards parents.  They must have been inspired to know that it was close to nap time and us parents might not be able to hear the latter part of the morning session easily. :) I referenced Sister Esplin's talk last time, and now I'd like to reference President Packer's "And A Little Child Shall Lead Them":

There are many things about living the gospel of Jesus Christ that cannot be measured by that which is counted or charted in records of attendance. We busy ourselves with buildings and budgets and programs and procedures. In so doing, it is possible to overlook the very spirit of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Too often someone comes to me and says, “President Packer, wouldn’t it be nice if … ?”

I usually stop them and say no, because I suspect that what follows will be a new activity or program that is going to add a burden of time and financial means on the family.

Family time is sacred time and should be protected and respected. We urge our members to show devotion to their families.

So, I can't say that we sat there with our ears devoted to every session.  But I CAN say that there were a few moments of sacred, family togetherness.  That for at least a few minutes we sat with our children on our laps, curled up in comfy blankets and listened to the comforting words of the prophet.  My heart glowed when my daughter said "That's President Monson!  I love President Monson."  I got goosebumps when my son asked "He's talking to us right now?" and I could answer truthfully, "Yes, he's talking to us right now."

My daughter's been having trouble falling asleep.  She's afraid of "monsters" and the only thing that's helped has been playing church songs from her little Hello Kitty music player.  I'm a strong believer of using the hymns with children.  This way they have spiritual connections with songs that they will continue to hear as an adult and can hopefully still strengthen them.  "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" from the EFY album Forward With Faith and "The Olive Tree" from the seminary soundtracks are some of her favorites.  She especially likes it when I sing I Know That My Redeemer Lives as a bedtime lullaby because it's so long. LOL

Anyway, the other day my son laid a blanket out on our living room floor and borrowed his sister's music player and asked if I would lie down and listen to the songs with him.  It's for little moments like this I'm so glad that we've chosen to pinch pennies and let me be home with our kids.  It's so hard to not have money for vacations or new things, but it's worth it.  I know it's a blessing to even have this option now, and isn't an option for everyone, but if you can, do it.

I was in the middle of cleaning but couldn't say no to some quiet time with my little man.  But I asked that we move the blanket outside since it was actually sunny and kind of warm.  We stretched out the blanket, lied down and listened to the sacred music together in a quiet scene of perfection.  I know God gave me that moment.  See, it wasn't until I stepped outside that I could see huge dark clouds to the east and west of us.  In fact, about twenty minutes later we had to hurry inside because winds and rain were upon us.  But for a moment, time was suspended and we were there in this little pocket of sun, listening to songs about the Savior.  

A couple times Michael got up to pick some dandelions and bring them to me.  Looking up at him, his smiling face surrounded by blue skies, his little hand stretching out freshly picked flowers for me, I felt what heaven must be like.  I can only describe it as a moment of godliness.  Life is so often chaotic, burdened, stressful...how grateful I am that I stepped away from my to-do list for this gift of a moment with my son.  There with him, I helped him recognize that feeling of love and calm he had inside as the Holy Ghost.  And I recognized that feeling in me too, in  a way I hadn't felt in a long time.

I often feel like the three words I say the most to my children aren't "I love you" but "Just a minute."  They ask for things...drinks, playtime, help and I find myself saying "Just a minute" over and over again because I'm so focused on me.  Well, I hope I change that.  From now on I hope I say "I'd love to."  Because really, saying you'd love to do something for someone or with someone is just another way of saying "I love you."  It's showing "I love you."  It's making family time, which we learned from President Packer is "sacred time."  It's serving them, which in reality is serving the Savior.  What could be more important than that?

The Gospel is true!  I hope you enjoy sacred, holy, special time with your family this weekend.  Love, Eva

P.S.  The pictures in this post are from some family time we had by a lake near our home.  None of the pictures have been digitally enhanced- those are the actual colors of that beautiful day together!  And that is my actual, beautiful son! :)

Some More Ideas To Follow Pres. Monson's Counsel...

This next week we've continued our discussion at home on the topics of prayer and President Monsons' counsel on choosing the right ALL the time, now with the help of the Holy Ghost too...

Book of Mormon Scripture Figures helped us realate the story of Abinidi who defiinitely still chose the right even when it was hard!

I loved the story The Best Soccer Player which is about being friends with people who are different or less popular and giving them a chance.  Consider inviting your kids to try being friends with someone they maybe haven't wanted to play with before. 

There is a simplified piano arrangement of I'm Trying To Be Like Jesus.  See if you or your child can practice it this week.  Even if it's not perfect, practicing the song , or even just memorizing the words and thinking of its message will add to the spirit in your home.  We are going to try memorizing it so we can sing it in Sacrament meeting. :) 

There's also a section this month titled Trying To Be Like Jesus.  Children tell what acts of service they are performing to try to be more like the Savior.  Use on of these as an idea for your family's own service project, or think of your own.  I know it might be hard, but that's ok if it is because that's what doing good 100% of the time is like sometimes, but it's worth it!

As we prepare for singing in Sacrament meeting I'm excited to share the story The Two Secrets with my children.  Prayer can and does get us through everything because it is a means of bringing the Spirit to our hearts.  It's the Holy Ghost then that enlightens our understanding, gives us strength and speaks peace to our soul.  The Holy Ghost then becomes a crucial aide in our doing good 100% of the time.

Here are some articles in thie month's Friend magazine that talk about the Holy Ghost:
Feeling The Holy Ghost (be sure to scroll down for the part titled Inviting The Spirit) This section is a lot easier to use out of the printed version because there are pictures that don't look the same online.
Choosing The Light My little boy has been really afraid of the dark since he stopped sharing a room with his big sister.  This story has helped us a lot this month!

Well, that may seem like a LOT but March is 1/2 way over, so I'm trying to be about that far through this month's content.  And kids are SPONGES!  When they are ready and listening they can soak up and understand so much!  So be ready for those moments; you don't want them to pass you by unprepared.

The gospel is true!  Thanks for reading and being YOU!  Happy Teaching! -Eva